Ending the Internal Conflict
If you read personal growth or self-help books at all, including mine, you’ve been taught to identify what you want to have. You’ve been instructed to focus your intention on what you want because what you think about is what it drawn to you. This idea was best expressed by the late Earl Nightingale who said "You Mind Moves in the Direction of Your Currently Dominant Thoughts." This is an idea that can be traced back thousands of years and appears on every writing on religion, spirituality or philosophy. The Bible says, "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."
You want to hold your attention on what you want to create in your life, since this is what you want to attract. There is, however, tremendous value in looking at the other side of this equation, for it is in contrast that we find clarity. One of the blocks to having what we want in our lives and businesses is the internal resistance that is present and operating behind the scenes. For example, let’s supposing that you want to double your current level of business. I can hear some people right now gasping at the thought of that however, it occurs all the time. This is one of the strategy’s I use when coaching business clients who want quantum growth.
Here’s the problem, you think "I want to double my business in the next twelve months." While you’re focusing on this lofty goal, there is in the back of your mind, all kinds of resistance to this idea. Your internal critic is chattering away telling you how difficult it will be and, even if it were possible, which it’s not, you would have to work twice as hard and that’s not something you want to do. The results here are conflicting and you are probably not even aware of it.
Fortunately, there is a fairly simple solution to this dilemma. Begin your goal setting by first, identifying what you do not want. I’m not suggestion for a second that you dwell on what you don’t want in your life. That will draw it to you. Just that you devote some time and energy surface everything you don't want. In our business doubling example, you may have things like "I don’t want more work, added overhead, more debt, I don’t want to have to hire more people, and I don’t want to work longer, and on and on." By doing this, you’ve cleared the way for the next most important step, what you do want. Once your clear as to what you do not want with regard to your goal or project, you can begin to list what you do want to have and experience. Again, in our business doubling example, this might include such things as "I want to double our business in the next 12 months. I want it to happen with ease and joy. I want to be able to do it with our present staff and budgets. I want it to be exciting and pleasurable for everyone. I want to be fun and have this occur effortlessly. I want to add more value to our clients. I want to explore new markets and create new ways to reach them."
By first allowing your fears and resistances to become known to you, you’ve cleared the way to have more of what you do want.
Note: Once you’ve identified what you don’t want, don’t keep going back to it. As a matter of fact, you might want to take your "don't want" list and burn it. Now devote all of your time, energy, resources and attention and thoughts to what you do want.
© 2004 Jim Donovan — PO Box 1147, Buckingham, PA 18912 — (215) 794-3826
