Optimal Thinking For Success
Have any of these thoughts ever crossed your mind?
- I deserve the best in life.
- How can I make the most of this situation?
- What’s the best solution?
- I’m taking the smartest actions toward my most important goal.
- I’m doing my best.
- I’m maximizing my options.
- What’s the most constructive use of my time right now?
If you entertain such thoughts, please welcome yourself into the Optimal Thinking community. Optimal Thinking is the mental technology that empowers you to be your best. It stops you from settling for second best.
With Optimal Thinking, your highest self takes charge. You focus on the best or most constructive thought at all times. You seek the best results in any given moment, and you experience the results of your own best thoughts. Of course, "the best" has a different meaning for each of us. When considering the purchase of a product, one Optimal Thinker may think that the best buy is the highest quality available, and isn’t concerned with price. Another may consider the best buy to be the bargain at sale time. And yet another may see it as the product that offers the most value relative to price.
When you use this superlative form of thinking, you focus on taking the best actions to accomplish what’s most important. You automatically use words like "best," "greatest," "most productive," and "maximize." It doesn’t matter what stage of life you are in, or in what circumstance you find yourself – you can use Optimal Thinking to instantly make the most of your life.
You can ask the best questions of yourself and others, to invite the best answers. You can discover what “the best” means in whichever context you choose. You can even create the best path to your most desired outcomes.
Consider Joan, who couldn’t figure out how to make a success of her business. To obtain the most profitable path, she simply asked “most profitable” questions. What’s my most profitable activity? How can I maximize the profitability of this activity? What’s the most profitable use of my time right now? Barry felt that there wasn’t any joy in his life. He decided to ask himself “most enjoyable” questions to optimize his enjoyment of life. “What are my most enjoyable activities? How can I maximize my enjoyment of these activities? What’s the most enjoyable use of my time right now? What will make each task today most enjoyable?
Mary, a journalist and Optimal Thinker, felt very annoyed when her boss criticized her latest story. Mary analyzed her anger and then resolved it with the following Optimal questions. “What is causing my anger? What are my options for resolving these issues/my feelings? What is my Optimal strategy? What is the most empowering action I can take right now?
One of the most exciting aspects of Optimal Thinking is that at this very moment and at any time in the future, you can optimize your thinking. Just as you can choose to think positively or negatively, you can choose to think Optimally or suboptimally. You can easily take the quantum leap!
Imagine you agree to meet a friend for dinner at an average restaurant. Your choice of dress is mediocre. The restaurant is moderately attractive and the chairs are reasonably comfortable. The food is somewhat ordinary, nothing to write home about. The background music is okay. Your friend is basically a suboptimal thinker. She talks about her husband for most of the evening. She tells you that he is giving her a hard time and that she’s fed up. She even cracks some pretty good jokes at his expense. You listen and agree that he’s a jerk. You don’t attempt to find a solution.
Let’s tune in on part of the conversation:
SUBOPTIMAL THINKER: “My husband is really getting on my nerves. He treats me well sometimes, but he’s verbally abusive. I’m tired of walking on eggshells around him. When it comes to our relationship, he always gives his full 34%!”
SUBOPTIMAL YOU: “He’s a jerk. Why do you put up with him?”
SUBOPTIMAL THINKER: “I’m afraid of being alone and I don’t believe I’ll find anyone better. ”
SUBOPTIMAL YOU: “If that’s how you feel, I guess you’re just going to have to grin and bear it.”
How do you both feel now?
Now imagine yourself as an Optimal Thinker. You arrange to meet the same friend for dinner at your favorite restaurant. You are looking your best. The ambiance is just right and the seating is entirely comfortable. You agree that the food couldn’t be better. The resident pianist even plays your favorite music.
Your friend shares her problem. You direct the conversation toward discovering the best solution and the most effective actions to implement. You assist your friend in minimizing her weaknesses and maximizing her strengths and opportunities. You focus on her finest attributes, favorite activities, and the best means of achieving her most important goals. You bring out the best in her!
Let’s tune in now to your Optimal responses to the same comments previously made by your friend:
SUBOPTIMAL THINKER: “My husband is really getting on my nerves. He treats me well sometimes, but he’s verbally abusive. I’m tired of walking on eggshells around him. When it comes to our relationship, he always gives his full 34%!”
OPTIMAL YOU: “It sounds like you’re having a really hard time. Why are you tolerating his bad behavior? What are your options? What do you think is the best way to resolve this?”
SUBOPTIMAL THINKER: “I don’t stand up to him because I’m scared he’ll leave me, and I’m afraid of being alone. I just can’t keep tolerating the abuse.”
OPTIMAL YOU: “So what’s your best strategy?”
SUBOPTIMAL THINKER: “I need to overcome my fear of being alone. I have noticed that when I treat myself respectfully, I like my own company. I’ll just have to refuse to tolerate his hostile behavior.”
OPTIMAL YOU: “That sounds right. What’s the most effective way to approach this so that you achieve what’s best for both of you?”
SUBOPTIMAL THINKER: “Good question. The next time my husband is verbally abusive, I’ll say: "I love you, but this behavior is no longer acceptable to me. I can’t be available for this. When you’re ready to treat me respectfully, please let me know." I will remove myself from his presence if he continues to treat me badly.”
How do you both feel now? How does it feel to be your best and bring out the best in others? This is what Optimal Thinking is all about! With practice, Optimal Thinking will become second nature to you.
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Rosalene Glickman, Ph.D. is the author of Optimal Thinking: How to Be Your Best Self (Wiley, 2002) She is a consultant who addresses large audiences throughout the world.
Copyright 2002. The World Academy of Personal Development Inc. All rights reserved.
